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Dating 45 Second Newsletter
Issue #25
Friday, Nov 9, 2001
Welcome to Dating and Relating!
What are your Little Red Flags?
Anyone dating knows that there are those little defining moments
on a date or in a relationship that turn you off, instead of
on, turning the best of romantic intentions into a whopping,
huge red warning flag. The best way of handling these moments
is with a great sense of humor! Go to OtherSingles.com
and take
the survey sharing your own little red flags!
www.othersingles.com/LittleRedFlags.cfm
For all the best resources on Dating, visit:
Other people who subscribe to this ezine also enjoy:
Building High Self-Esteem 45-Second Newsletter
WZ Highlights 45-Second Newsletter
http://www.wz.com/
Dating 45-Second Newsletter
Dating 45-Second Newsletter
Issue #26
Thursday, Nov 15, 2001
Welcome to Dating and Relating!
Letting Go of the Wrong Relationship...
So many of the "tips" and advice that we receive are on "How to find the RIGHT partner", when often where we are stuck is on letting go of the wrong partner!
Do you ever find yourself thinking,
"This relationship is crazy! What am I doing?" or,
"I'd rather be in a bad relationship than no relationship..." or pessimistically, "I'll never find love." This site offers advice from best-selling author, Dr. Tracy Cabot, and provides educational articles and Q and A to assist you in letting go and moving on... There is NO time like now!
http://www.datingdoctor.com/
http://www.loveadvice.com/ARTICLES/1GUIDE.HTM
You can subscribe to the two 45-Second Newsletters above by
visiting each page and typing your email address into the
subscription box. To see all of our most popular ezines you can visit
www.wz.com/45secNewsletters.html
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There are
many reasons for a guy to use personal ads:
It may be that he can't meet single
girls any other way.
But it may also be that he's really
gorgeous and wants a chance to meet a woman who'll get to know him
before finding out what he looks like. It may be that he's shy.
It may be that he has a busy career
and has no other good way of meeting people.
It may be that he's got kids and
doesn't have much chance to get out.
It may be that he has a hard time
finding intelligent single women in his everyday life.
Or it may be that he's just trying
something like this for the hell of it just to see what happens.
Basically, there are many good
reasons to use personal ads. There's nothing at all weird about a
man using something like this. It's just one more way of meeting
people, and a pretty good one if you do things right!
This article was reprinted by
permission and is Copyright 1995 and 1996 by Dean Esmay. Go to www.getgirls.com
to read other articles or subscribe to weekly newsletter!
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Pros and Cons of Internet Dating
There are many pro's and con's to the "Internet dating" scene as there are to "normal" dating scenarios.
The pro's: You control the speed of the relationship. Unlike meeting someone out in public, the only way you can see or communicate with them is to give them your real name and number or get theirs. Hence you are divulging in this day and age a lot of information and ability to access you very easily. On the net in most cases you only have to divulge what you want when you want until you get comfortable.
All the first meet pressure and eye to eye contact fears are initially removed. With pictures and instant messaging you can relax and converse without the traditional tension and appearance worries as well as get to know the person better before a face to face meeting might occur.
If you are at all educated, it will not take long for you to figure out that through the written word/correspondences with them if you are
talking to an equal or someone who is far more intelligent than you or the town idiot.
One of the Internets greatest assets is that you broaden you possibilities and drastically increase the likelihood of meeting a good potential date or mate because you are exponentially increasing the number of people you can me by thousands. Hundreds of millions of people use the Internet a month. To meet that many possible singles in real life would take you years at best. Search engines on singles sites allow you to narrow your desired selected characteristics and interests down very quickly while still increasing the volume to choose from.
The ease and decreased expense of developing a relationship that is based on intellectual contact and not physical appeal initially is great reduced. Real communication starts with the mind and heart to create intimacy. By not getting initially caught up in the traditional trappings of looks, money, time constraints and other variables, people on the Internet will spend the majority of their contacts with each other developing friendship and getting to really get to know each other through the medium of the written word. If all systems are go, and
pictures (of a real and true nature) are exchanged then meeting is the next step. Meeting a "friend" who you have talked to several to many times is much easier for many than just "stepping up to bat". By first establishing a common ground, you greatly increase your likelihood of long term success. You also increase you chances of spotting fatal flaws or characteristics early off in the game and can quickly eliminate a potential "poor pick" before you over invest in your next future-ex.
The con's: All that glitters is not gold. Some people on the Internet have mastered the "false" identity. Their pictures are from magazines, they have studied what to say and how to say it to draw a person into romance with an illusion. They present themselves as "to good to be true". (Of course this also happens in real life too, it is just easier to pull off on-line.) What you see on-line is not always what or who you meet in the real.
If you are not careful about your info, like in real life they can get easy access to "you" or your "sensitive" information and stalking or identity piracy can occur.
The lonely hearts club is a painful and dangerous group who can lead you on a wonderful romance on-line to a dead end. There are many who have unfulfilled marriages and home lives that live out fantasy relationships with people on-line but because they are not single or willing to leave their unhealthy relationships, your relationship with them may never be realized. In real life it is a bit easier to figure this out and look for a S.T.A.R. (Someone,
That's. Available & Real).
While in real life someone can spike your drink with a drug like Rohypnol ( the date rape drug) on-line can lead to similar results in a real meeting situation. However, rather than instant opportunity for that to occur with a chance meeting at a bar, party or event in real life you can still have that happen because you set yourself up with false trust being developed on-line and a false sense of security. First meetings should be in public, brief, and possibly with a friend present or at least let people know where you are, what you are doing, who you are meeting and when you expect to return from the date.
Overall the best way to increase your chances of success with Internet dating or real life dating is to be healthy and Date Smart! In our new book we provide a fantastic set of techniques and assessment tools to greatly increase your ability to attract, detect and maintain a good healthy relationship no matter what medium you choose to meet people. In particular the 15-Minute Find in chapter 6 is a fantastic tool to quickly asses the quality and caliber of a good or bad pick regardless of whether you have met them in real life or on-line.
http://www.loveadvice.com/ARTICLES/1GUIDE.HTM
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